The long term effects of chocolate on the water supply
The long term effects of chocolate on the water supply
Hi,
It should come as no surprise to anyone by now, the damaging environmental effects that chocolate has on the water supply. In a recent EU commission report, it was suggested that the seepage into the natural water table in areas such as Bournville in Birmingham, England; a town renowned for it's chocolate production, of cocoa products, is at an all time high.
The biggest immediate problem facing the locals is the water turning brown. It's not too distressing, as with Birmingham being at the heart of the Black Country, industrialisation has more than once wrecked the natural water resources. The situation can not be ignored in the hopes that it will go away on it's own. The local EECRT [European Emergency Chocolate Recovery Team] have this morning issued a statement, stating {as that seems to be the thing that statements do best} that..
"The current situation is such that as of Thursday the 4th, we will begin to take radical action to ensure that the safety of those living locally to any such chocolate hotspot, will be of paramount importance to us. We will attempt to accertain all that needs accertaining in order to accertain which way to proceed from therein forthwith and maybe hereafter as well, in an effort to capitalise on the resources available in order to resolve this issue."
As is usual with any European organisation, they have said nothing. Locals note that the next Thursday 4th to appear on their calendars is in August 2005, and as the kids have just broken up for the summer holidays it would cause too much disruption to the local area having a bunch of inspectors resplendent in white paper overalls running amok in the streets.
Failing this we are looking at May next year. This is a very complex time, as it is the day when the Galaxy, Mars and Milky Way factories will all be trying to outdo each other for the highest sales quota for the previous year. This is affectionately known as the Chocolate Star Wars, after the brand names. It is perceived that this will be a time of great uncertainty for all, so on a personal note can I just say..
"May the Fourth be with you"
(May 4th.. gedit) :) hehe
Enough already.
Cheers
Liam
Hi,
It should come as no surprise to anyone by now, the damaging environmental effects that chocolate has on the water supply. In a recent EU commission report, it was suggested that the seepage into the natural water table in areas such as Bournville in Birmingham, England; a town renowned for it's chocolate production, of cocoa products, is at an all time high.
The biggest immediate problem facing the locals is the water turning brown. It's not too distressing, as with Birmingham being at the heart of the Black Country, industrialisation has more than once wrecked the natural water resources. The situation can not be ignored in the hopes that it will go away on it's own. The local EECRT [European Emergency Chocolate Recovery Team] have this morning issued a statement, stating {as that seems to be the thing that statements do best} that..
"The current situation is such that as of Thursday the 4th, we will begin to take radical action to ensure that the safety of those living locally to any such chocolate hotspot, will be of paramount importance to us. We will attempt to accertain all that needs accertaining in order to accertain which way to proceed from therein forthwith and maybe hereafter as well, in an effort to capitalise on the resources available in order to resolve this issue."
As is usual with any European organisation, they have said nothing. Locals note that the next Thursday 4th to appear on their calendars is in August 2005, and as the kids have just broken up for the summer holidays it would cause too much disruption to the local area having a bunch of inspectors resplendent in white paper overalls running amok in the streets.
Failing this we are looking at May next year. This is a very complex time, as it is the day when the Galaxy, Mars and Milky Way factories will all be trying to outdo each other for the highest sales quota for the previous year. This is affectionately known as the Chocolate Star Wars, after the brand names. It is perceived that this will be a time of great uncertainty for all, so on a personal note can I just say..
"May the Fourth be with you"
(May 4th.. gedit) :) hehe
Enough already.
Cheers
Liam
| This blog post fulfils the assignment The long term effects of chocolate on the water supply at lazyblog.org. You can rate it here. |
posted by Liam | 9:53 AM
<< Home